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Friday, June 17, 2011

Jerk Know-It-All

(Article Written by Roberto Ruiz,, twitter @RobertoRuiz33)

This article is a direct response to the recent annual ranking of the four major leagues in North America done by ESPN The Magazine.

(Give me the voice of your version of a stereotypical sports fan jerk who acts like he knows everything but really knows nothing.)

The Green Bay Packers are the best franchise in North America. Really? What is the rationale for this decision? Can your average American even name another thing associated with Green Bay other than the Packers? What about that Brett Favre guy? Oh wait. Well what about Vince Lombardi? Never mind. Green Bay is part of the cheese state right?

Who in their right mind would rank a team from little Green Bay over a team from New York City? I mean come on, New York city is THE place to be, right? The New York Yankees have to be the better franchise, especially if you take into account the championships won. Championships should be one of the top categories, right? Forget the fact that the Yankees have only won one World Series in the last ten years despite having the highest payroll every year. Teams shouldn't be respectful and fun loving like the Packers, the best franchises should be made up of the selfish money-grabbing jerks who expect you to give up your table for them, not the guys who will give their table up for you.

Fine, so a big team like the Yankees shouldn't be the best franchise. What about a team like the Miami Heat? They are supposed to win the next six NBA championships; that should put them in prime position for the best franchise. As good as the Packers were last season there is no way that they will win the next six championships. Besides, the fans of the team shouldn't hang outside of the stadium for hours in sub-zero temperatures just to see their team (all the while overjoyed that they are able to wait outside in sub-zero temperatures so that they can witness the most storied franchise in the NFL). Fans should instead show up sometime between the start of the game and halftime, because nothing good ever happens until the second half of games anyways.

Okay so maybe that wasn't the best example. Surely the Chicago Bears are the top franchise of all sports. They don't have a ludicrously high payroll, nor do their fans show up late to games. People are Bears fans their entire lives, and they haven't won as many championships as the Packers have, so that has to be good for something right? Sure, they haven't won a championship since 1985, but they were in the NFC championship game last year!

Let's be honest. This seems kind of like an obvious choice to me. The Packers have the best ownership, the best fans, the best stadium, and the best history. On top of all of that, they are winning, per the usual.

I guess my only real problem with this ranking was that the Tampa Bay Lightning was the second ranked franchise. I am shocked, truly.

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